In the words of a broken heart its just emotion

There is no stronger emotion than love. Our world seems filled at times with emotions like hatred, envy and rage which are passionate and destructive. We turn on our computers and see one more story about murder, Palestine and Israel, another random shooting or broken relationship. All reminders of passion gone a muck.

I think our hearts long for love. It has authored countless songs of passion, love and loss. As the Bee Gees sang, ‘in the words of a broken heart its just emotion’.  Love makes the world make sense, it makes life make sense and when you find it and lose it and wonder if it will ever be there again, you could probably write your own love song, with your own words, your own names, your own memories.

I remember a friend preaching a sermon about Jesus passing by a crowd and he said, “Love passes by …and you must reach out to that love” Otherwise you live with a broken heart…and an unfilled emptiness.

Love: strange and fickle, deep and rewarding, rare and sweet. there is nothing like true love and nothing worse than its loss.




Rock, pebbles, sand, water……

That seems like a recipe for a five year old having fun on a summer day.

The problem is we aren’t five anymore. We grow up or at least we grow older. Hopefully both. This analogy is really overdone..just google it; however it still holds some way of measuring what is important.

Rocks fill jar first..Relationships, family, God…

Pebbles…work, volunteering.

Sand..the myriad of distracting things that SOMETIMES have to be done, not as much as we think..and like sinking sand, can sink us from accomplishing the big rock things.

Water…everything else..that flows through our hands or around us..not all can be grasped nor should be, it is just there.

Another spin on this is how you would prioritize these things at different stages of life..not as you think you do…but try putting them in a jar as you REALLY are doing them. For example, is work really a pebble or a rock? Are your primary relationships really BiG rocks…

Finding out too late in life that you have mixed up the jar, crushes rocks into pebbles and pebbles into sand, and sand into mush…all caught up in the rushing waters of life.


I should change the name to North of 50

Here I am.  I am a terribly undisciplined writer and perhaps person. The book of Proverbs says to consider the ant you sluggard.  As much as I get that I have never really aspired to be an ant or a sparrow.

After 50 you are usually habituated to being you. We change when we have to under pressure, however we usually are who we are. Having said that, there is room to explore and change, where possible.

I have lived 52 years on the planet and am learning some interesting and painful lessons. As much as I laugh and love to make people laugh,I fear like many comedians it just covers up pain. The pattern of pleasing people and being afraid to be me has cost me a lot in life. My fear of being responsible for others comfort and future has cost me my own happiness.

So like main have experienced, pain becomes our teacher. I have decided I don’t want my fear to stop me from being me. Indecision has crippled me and I have decided that even at this advanced age, I won’t let it anymore.

The journey ahead is gaining clarity and being responsible for me. I can’t control or change anyone else, nor do I have to live in fear of disappointing them.

I can change.  I will change. Step on the ants and shoot the sparrows.